ImageThere it was again — a random capital. The offender was the "M" at the beginning of "Mother," as in "Her Mother was the first to notice she could really sing."

If it had been "Mother told me she thought I could really sing," it would have been fine and dandy because "Mother" would have been serving as a proper noun there, referring to a particular maternal figure. But when it's not standing in for a name, "mother" should not be capitalized.

I've recently seen the following capitalized for no reason: "high school" (in the same sentence as "middle school," which was NOT capitalized), "million," "mission," "federal," "program," "child," "metro area," "board of directors," "legislature," "alumni," "entertainment industry," "civic" and "downtown" (yes, I've been doing a lot of nonprofit reading).

As our friend Grammar Girl explains: "One mistake business writers often make is capitalizing words simply for emphasis or to augment their importance. Such errant capitalization happens frequently in press releases and other promotional materials. Hyperbole is no stranger in that realm. Nevertheless, it does not make your pork rinds crunchier and tastier if you capitalize the words 'Pork' and 'Rinds.'" (Mmm ... pork rinds.)

I think the tendency to over-capitalize is also a byproduct of the tendency to overcompensate. Since a lot of people simply don't know what should be capitalized, they believe that erring on the side of the capital is the conservative, and thus more likely to be correct, choice; they reason erroneously that it's best to play it safe and capitalize the word in question, thus conferring upon it the respect it might deserve.

"Since 1991 we have been connecting Entrepreneurs with the top Speakers, Business Mentors, Coaches and the Tools they need to create the business of their dreams." What if the business of your dreams involves stamping out random capitalization?
I understand the cap confusion in some cases — a professional title preceding a proper name vs. a descriptor following a proper name and a comma, for instance: "Apple Chief Executive Officer Steve Jobs" as opposed to "Steve Jobs, chief executive officer of Apple." But I'm less sympathetic about this kind of thing: "Abundance and Prosperity is waiting for you to claim it, but it can't happen unless you tap into the Power that is within you. Since 1991 we have been connecting Entrepreneurs with the top Speakers, Business Mentors, Coaches and the Tools they need to create the business of their dreams."

What if the business of your dreams involves stamping out random capitalization? Even if it doesn't, why would you trust something as important as your business to someone who doesn't understand capitalization? The very notion shocks and saddens me. And now, in an effort to be the change I want to see in the world, some rules:

Capitalize proper nouns. Per the Associated Press Stylebook, my personal authority, proper nouns "constitute the unique identification for a specific person, place or thing": Julia Rubiner (person — yours truly), Glassell Park (place — location of our office), Editorial Emergency (thing — our copywriting agency). Under other circumstances, "editorial," "emergency" and "park" would not be capitalized no matter how important they may seem.

Capitalize the first word in a sentence. People who feel this isn't necessary in casual, i.e. digital, communication risk my ire.

Capitalize principal words in the titles of creative works: "Empire of the Summer Moon: Quanah Parker and the Rise and Fall of the Comanches, the Most Powerful Indian Tribe in American History." In its entry on "composition titles," the AP adds, "including prepositions and conjunctions of four or more letters." Oh, and always capitalize "is" in a title, since it's a verb form. (Someone recently stepped to me on this point. Needless to say, he drew back a bloody stump.) And always capitalize the last word of a title, even if it's a preposition or conjunction of fewer than four letters. Or you could play it safe and capitalize ALL the words in a title, as long as you do so consistently throughout whatever you're writing.

This is as good a place as any to note that when you "capitalize" a word, you merely render the first letter as a capital. When you capitalize every letter in a word, you're either emphasizing that word to bolster its meaning or, in digital discourse, shouting.

As you've likely guessed, the rules for capitalization are riddled with offshoots and exceptions. When in doubt, look it up on Merriam-Webster Online or Google the word along with the search term "New York Times," a model of exemplary capitalization. (I do wonder how long the capitalization will remain on the verb form of Google.)

Rule of thumb: If you're asking yourself, "Should I capitalize this?" think of what my grandmother, a world traveler, used to say about packing: "If you're asking yourself, 'Do I need to pack this?' the answer is 'no.'" In other words, stick to lowercase. 'Tis a capital idea.