1. Drop by the dentist's office to see if they can squeeze you in.
2. Read up on the tax code.
3. Get into an epic instant-message exchange with the most boring person you know.
4. Gnaw off your own foot.
5. Get somebody else to write them.

No need to freak out; option #5 is now viable. In case of editorial emergency, break glass and call the EE hotline: (323) 259-5876.